Wednesday, 14 March 2012

An advert I endorse...

So it seems that I alone can see the adverts on here. Probably some sort of booze-related, itchy-skinned gremlin. That's okay then. I'm used to that. However, here is an advert...well...for me!

The Narwhal and other stories.
By guysmiley
Price: £2.99

This portmanteau of stories deals with the unknown, of the howling chaos that we insulate ourselves against, with our mortgages, our satellite television packages and our celebrity cellulite obsessions. John Patrick Higgins’ occultism is never hidden. His monsters are on the street where you live: doctors, business men and work colleagues; grey-faced invisibles and quotidian killers. These are paranoid tales where the ultimate fear is that of being found out, of being taken to task, of not getting away with it. There are no soft landings for his protagonists; the best that they can hope for is a stay of execution, a phone-call from the governor that never comes.

In “temp” the titular office worker discovers exactly how far his new company will go to stay ahead of the pack.

“The Narwhal” presents us with a city boy who pays a heavy price for both his vanity and his giant, robotic penis.

In “Something old, something blue” hapless club comedian, Jimmy Gemini finds that an accidental death propels him to the top of his profession.

“The Rum Barbers” sees a library book on sympathetic magic used in a turf war between two South London hairdressers.

All of these stories find people attempting to use a power that they don’t understand and suffering for that ignorance.

In “Ding, Dong, Dell” an interior designer discovers the bones of a child under the floor of a stately home that she is refurbishing.

And “A Cup of Cold Sick” remains a disturbingly literal title.

There is a morbid uncertainty at play, a notion that nothing is yours and that everything can be taken away from you at a moment’s notice. And you won’t know why because you don’t know the rules.

John Patrick Higgins makes every day feel like your first day at big school. He throws you in the swimming pool with your shoes on. Here’s to that sinking feeling.

- Guy Smiley, North Hampshire.

This ebook is compatible with almost all ereader devices including the Apple iPad, Amazon Kindle and Sony Ereader

Word count: 19,882

Download a free sample of this book

Click here to submit your review.


  1. Don't click there to submit your review. Click on Jottify, thanks...

  2. Johnny, good work sir! Good to see it published. I'll buy a copy.

    Though you may want to remove the slating of Jotify on your Guy Smiley profile. Just a thought.

    Take it easy big boy.

    1. Oof! Yeah, you might be onto something there...I'm on it...

  3. good lad. lets not snatch defeat from the maw of victory.

  4. good to see you getting your writing "out there" mister

    1. Thanks Ms. Sparkle, toe-testing the waters of new media. I have actually sold some! Extraordinary.

  5. Very imaginative cover. I have just been to to try to download it. No luck.

  6. I'm afraid it isn't available via Amazon...yet. I shall be working on that in the future. For the time being it is only available from the good people at Jottify. com. The cover is fantastic isn't it? I can say that because I didn't do it. It was knocked up in a couple of seconds by my good friend Douglas Steel. Who has a certain genius in these matters.


    that non functioning link again, folks...

  8. Oh, I should add this book is DEFINITELY available on Amazon now:

    Another ungainly, unworkable link. Sigh. Still, consistent five star reviews across the board. Apart from one guy.