Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Spine of the Times

I wake up with a bloodshot eye. It is the second bloodshot eye in a month. It is the other eye this time, the right one. I wasn't pleased the last time and asked around. Luckily I was at a dinner party with a phalanx of physicians. They seemed to think it was fine, just a bit of conjunctivitis, so I was mollified (and relieved, the best layman's diagnosis was early stage diabetes! Which might have worried me if I hadn't had a blood test two week previously)But to wake up with another one, a month later, looks like worrying coincidence. I do the worst thing you can do- I look it up on the internet! Amazingly, it's not too bad. They're all saying it's a burst blood vessel. I will not be looking into this.

Besides, I'm more worried about my back. I have pain, and be careful this is complicated medical language, in the hingey bit at the base of my back. It's on the right side, and relates therefore either to my writing hand, and I have been writing a lot lately with all the sliding, bad posture that entails, or to my bad leg as I have been walking on it a lot recently*. Either would be bad news for me as the former is supposed to be supplementing my wealth, the latter my health. It would be a fucker if I couldnt get fit because my attempts to get fit left me too unfit to get fit. There is nobody to shake my fist at, the sky aint listening. I shall shake it at a mirror.

Oh, you men of stone.

*I have been walking on both legs. I feel I should point that out, I dont just hop about Belfast. Though if I did I would use the other leg, the good leg.


  1. Phalanx is a good collective noun. I learnt that the collective noun for tortoises is a creep, from the Simon Mayo show. Also, they right themselves, if you leave them upside-down. How long this takes was left unclear. At least you can right yourself, easily...

  2. I can almost believe we have hingey bits at the bottom of our backs... I have gazed at chiropractor charts during 4 appointments in the last week, and am £132 lighter but fabulously cured... almost...

  3. In mind / body meta medicine the back represents the past - that which we do not want to see. the right side is our masculine side characterized by logic, facts, systems, and self-interest. Left is intuition, feelings, openness, and unselfishness govern the feminine side. Our legs and our hips are our balance between these two points. In my experience, the emotional energy trapped in your body creates this and you can release it... meditation can help, acupuncture, tapping... then again it could be a wonky live ;-)