Tuesday, 11 January 2011

The Weight of the World (hanging over my belt buckle)

Have just come back from the doctors. I needed to change from East Dulwich to a Haringay medical centre to garner the sweet, sweet psychological reinforcement I'm due...in about a month. They managed to spread this over two visits. On the first I filled in various forms giving my various details and answering various questions on my ethnicity and medical history (very concerned over whether I might have glaucoma for some reason). Then I had to come back a week later for a go on the "The Pod". Today was Pod day!

Once I filled in the same forms as last week, they had lost them, I was introduced to "The Pod": a computer with a sleeve attachment for taking your blood pressure and a scale for weighing you. I went through the questions (again glaucoma heavy, to the point that I've become quite paranoid, trying to catch glimpses of my eyeballs in car hub-caps and on the chrome parts of fridges for the corneal petrification that is the hallmark of glaucoma. Or something. I've not been that bothered to actually look it up on NHS Direct).

It was all fine until I got to the scales and the Body Mass Index. I'm five nine and a (very important) half but I rounded it down to 5'9". Fatal mistake. I was expecting to be over-weight; I've piled on the pounds over the last couple of years due to a number of things: learning to cook delicious foods, trying to write novels in The Noble pub; yet another broken leg. But this leap-frogged over the main-body of "overweight" and landed just the right side, JUST the right side, of "obese".

Now I reckon I've lost about half a stone since Christmas which I'm certain would have landed me comfortably (and you can imagine that it IS quite comfy) in obese-land. So this is me; sober, healthy, eating well and walking five miles everyday and I'm still just shy of being Mr Creosote! And I've never been in Greggs in my life!

I still have a month to go before counselling and when that day comes I want to be metally ill and FABULOUS! No sweets till BEDLAM!


  1. i'm going to Bedlam tomorrow. I'll book you a (big) bed.

  2. I'm going to Bejam tomorrow. I'll pick you up some ice-magic and a K9 lolly