Monday, 7 May 2012
I may have a hernia. I had a hernia before and it felt vaguely like this odd, scrunchy discomfort. It's come from nothing, of course; I've not lifted anything heavier than my head off the pillow. It may be nothing, some sort of groin strain or a pulled muscle, I have been doing a LOT of walking recently. But these things are never nothing. Nothing is nothing. When it comes to the failings of the human body, in my experience, it is always worst case scenario. I'll leave it till Wednesday and if there's no obvious improvement I'll drag my worried ball-bag to the doctors. I mentioned this plan to a friend and received the knee-jerk response of "typical man" as if postponing the pleasures of confronting a be-gloved stranger with my denuded cock for the possible diagnosis of a strained muscle was a ludicrously cavalier approach to health-care. Not that I could go to the doctor today anyway as it's a bank holiday and the surgery is closed. It riled me. I am many things, most of them rubbish. But I'm not a typical man.