Saturday, 12 November 2011

Finally got around to filling in the Housing Benefits Form I've been putting off for two months. I doubt very much that I'll get it. I'm not the sort of person who gets things. There is a pull-away section that I need to send to my land-lord. A nice bit of indignity there. And, of course, if I don't get any benefit I'm basically saying "toss me out into the snow, please, I can no longer afford to live in your house. Which is, in fact, pretty close to being true. They are also asking me if I am running a business from the property which has forced me to face up to the fact that though I write constantly, and hobble around arts centres and the like attempting to make people like me, no body seems particularly keen on paying me at the moment. I'm assured that this will change but less assured of when.

Is it "a business"? Am I fooling myself? I've spent two days researching a Belfast film company for an interview that will probably take another day to condense, to write up and polish. Three days work with little hope of payment or even, christ, a thank you. And people think I'm doing well. He's everywhere, he's always talking, always writing away.

I have nothing else to do.

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